Nostalgic Music - 1990

I would like, if I may...to begin with a completely unrelated Rocky Horror Picture Show reference. (Or, if you're my mother, Sponge Bob. For some reason, her poor brain cannot differentiate the two. Go figure that one out.)

Ok, now that that's out of the way, it's come to my attention that I haven't blogged a single word since the end of April. This is defeating, considering I certainly have the time to write and the love of doing so. But, as it turns out, my blog lacks focus and, therefore, lacks my interest and attention as well. So, in the spirit of trying to recapture some happiness in my life, I present I new string of focused, (hopefully) well-written blog posts.

The stars aligned and reminded me that I not only love writing, but I also obsess 24/7 over music. All music. Any music. (Yes, even county music. Come on, I know it's the [201], but have you not heard the song "Stuck Like Glue" by Sugarland and "Honey Bee" by Blake Shelton? Pure, catchy, country genius. Go download them. You won't be sorry.)

In addition to my complete and utter obsession over music, I also have been reacquainted with my love for all things 90s (thanks to this incredible blog: http://childrenofthenineties.blogspot.com/ ). Aside from making up most of my childhood, the 90s was an eclectic, hilarious, delightful decade with an unmatched range. (No bias, I swear.)

So, thinking cap on this time, I had my Oprah "aha!" moment and shifted my bloggy gaze toward the music of the 1990s, a topic everyone enjoys (whether you admit to it or not). To begin, the year that started it all, 1990.

A little wealth of fun facts about 1990 before we get to the musical gooey center:

*I turned 5 (yes, this is a wonderfully fun fact)
*A gallon of gas cost $1.341
*Nelson Mandela is freed after 27.5 years in prison
*The Persian Gulf War begins
*The Cold War Ends
* The Simpsons and Seinfeld both debut on TV
*The boys of Milli Vanilli admit to lip-syncing
*The FDA approves Norplant (birth control)
*The greatest music in the world begins its era...

And now, on to the music. Here is the first (and I say "first" because you simply cannot have just ONE list per year---there are simply too many options) Top Ten list of songs, a la 1990:

1) "Nothing Compares 2 U" ~ Sinead O'Connor: Believe it or not, this song is a cover. Written by Prince for The Family, who released the original version in 1985, "Nothing Compares 2 U" didn't become a huge commercial success until it was released on Sinead O'Connnor's second album, I Do Not Want What I Haven't Got in 1990. The song launched O'Connor's career in the US, UK, and Australia and became one of Billboard's "Greatest Songs of All Time."

First off, this song was set to "Favorites" on my Sirius/XM radio the very first time I heard it in my new car. It still makes me tear up (if not burst out into shameless, sloppy tears) every time I hear it. There is something so haunting and serious and lovely about the way she sings those sad, sad lyrics with her accent poking through at all the best parts. I often catch myself screaming "I went to the doctor and guess what he told me, guess what he told me," while driving around feeling sad. Any woman that can shave her head and make me cry to a song written by Prince gets my vote any day.

2) "Vogue" ~ Madonna: Inspired by a dance craze in gay clubs in the late 80s, "Vogue" was a mix of background music samples from a list of older songs (including Madonna's own "Lucky Star" and "Like Virgin") from her soundtrack album I'm Breathless. It may also go down as one of the most memorable live performances of the MTV Video Music Awards, where Madonna dressed up as Marie Antoinette to perform "Vogue" and flashed the audience while having her dancers fondle her. Good times, as always. Madonna always knows how to keep our attention.

But let's be honest, the song alone has serious staying power. I'm pretty sure everyone still knows most of the words to it (with help from Glee, of course, for the youngins). I continuously pat myself on the back when I correctly sing the rap part along with Madonna on the radio, "Greta Garbo and Monroe, Dietrich and DiMaggio. Marlon Brando, Jimmy Dean on the cover of a magazine..." It's about as far as I'll ever get as a rapper, but I'll take it! I will Vogue until the day I die, hand movements and all.

3) "Poison" ~ Bell Biv DeVoe: One of the most successful singles of the entire year, "Poison" was the first single from Bel Biv DeVoe's first album and launched them into insane stardom, though not for very long. The song climbed the Billboard charts for weeks, eventually reaching number three on the Billboard Hot 100 list. Then the year ended, BBD faded into obscurity, and that was that.

As I kid, I'm not quite sure what I thought this song was about, other than a poisonous girl (since the only words I really knew were, "That girl is poooooiiiiiisoooon!"), but current research has pointed out that the song was, in fact, about AIDS. Who knew? Certainly not me. All I know is that a guy I dated (very briefly) used to tell me that "Poison" reminded him of me. Had I known it was about AIDS, I probably wouldn't have thought it was so cute. Ignorance truly is bliss.

4) "Escapade" ~ Janet Jackson: This is Janet's (Ms. Jackson if you're nasty) third single from her fourth album, proving she was one of the reigning queens of the 80s, 90s, and beyond. The song was inspired by "Nowhere to Run" by Martha & The Vandellas (of "Heat Wave" fame) and was number one on Billboard's Hot 100 for three weeks straight.

This song never fails to make me shimmy, if not outright break it down Rhythm Nation-style, and always manages to put me in a better mood. I have long loved Janet Jackson and definitely have a few dusty cassette tapes somewhere of my 5-year-old self recording a plethora of her songs on my Little Tykes tape recorded, complete with awesome red microphone. Should you ever find yourself a bit blue, click on "Escapade" and watch your mood immediately switch. It's Jackson magic at its finest.

5) "U Can't Touch This" ~ MC Hammer: Pretty much his only known song, "U Can't Touch This" was the first (only) single off MC Hammer's first (only) album Please Hammer, Don't Hurt 'Em, which sold ten million copies. TEN MILLION COPIES. How about them apples? The song actually debuted in late 1989 on The Aresnio Hall Show and took off from there. An obvious rip-off of Rick James' "Super Freak," James was later credited as a co-author (post-law suits, etc.).

This is one the the quintessential 90s songs, one of those things anybody who existed, young or old, in the 90s is not only aware of, but can hum, if not spit every single word perfectly. There's something incredibly special about a song that can make even the frumpiest of grandmas cry, "Stop! Hammer time," (although my favorite part is still "oooooooh ooooooh oooooh OH OH OH-OH OH OH!") This song still plays on the (Sirius/XM 90s) radio, more often than one might like, but it's still as catchy as ever and will make you involuntarily reach for your shiny, elastic, garbage bag pants.

6) "Blaze Of Glory" ~ Jon Bon Jovi: No (201) 90s music list blog post would be complete without Jon Bon Jovi. This is Jersey. 'Nuff said. Although usually referred to as a "Bon Jovi song," this single was actually only released by Jon himself, sans band. The song was recorded for the movie Young Guns II and became an overnight smash hit with New Jersey and the rest of those other states (and stuff) in 1990.

I always thought this song was a little weird, even for Jon Bon Jovi (who I think can be a weird, pompous ass sometimes). What I don't get is this: you are a Jersey boy. JERSEY. Why must some of your songs sound so...country? Not that I have issues with country music (see earlier paragraphs), but, I mean...it's Jersey. And you're Jon Bon Jovi, the guy who pretty much single-handedly ruined the dirty, smeared look of 80s/90s hair metal with a straight smile and pretty, pretty hair. So, what's with the country twangs every now and then?

Anyway, this song and all it's lyrics still take up space in my brain (like the good Jersey girl I am) and always come rushing to to the front as soon as the signature intro begins. I can't help it. It's like a disease we're all born with here in the armpit of the US. It's genetic.

7) "I Wanna Be Rich" ~ Calloway: Although released in 1989, this song got most of its air time in 1990. "I Wanna Be Rich" reached number 2 on the Billboard Hot 100 and, when their recording career fizzled out, the two brothers of Calloway became successful record producers, garnering hits for a string of well-known artists.

This song is honest and awesome. "I want money, lots and lots of money. I want it high in the sky...I wanna be rich!" And who doesn't? Ain't nothin' wrong with singing about how desperately you covet the green. This remains one of my all-time favorite (although lesser-known by too many) songs of the 90s. And in addition to the sweet lyrics and catchy melody, Calloway also provided us with some truly delightful backup singing. "These bill collectors they ring my phone--ring-a-ling-a-ling!" Perfection.

8) "Step By Step" ~ New Kids on the Block: The biggest selling single ever released by NKOTB, "Step By Step" made every girl in the US ages 5 to 35 (in some creepy cases) swoon and prentend the boys were singing to us personally. No? Just me? Hmm...I digress.

"Step By Step" topped tons of charts and still tops lists today (example, UChoose40's Greatest Guilty Pleasures, beating out "Bohemian Rhapsody"). The song was not originally meant to be recorded by NKOTB, but once they heard it, they recorded it and made boy band history.

Fun fact: Mark Wahlberg actually appears in the video for this song alongside his brother and the rest of the NKOTB. And while these guys are neither new nor kids anymore, they still hold an incredibly special place in my heart. I had everything from the bedsheets to the dolls (complete with Jordan's faux-hair rat tail---yikes) and still know every word to every song. I'm not ashamed, either, to admit that I've watched their AOL Sessions about 100 times (although it's a bit creepy, all those 20- and 30-somethings screaming like little girls at a Justin Beiber concert, but in a very tiny, quiet room while the boys do their old-school dance moves) and still can't decide whether or not to take the plunge and buy the concert tickets. (What holds me back is knowing no one will want to go with me. Sigh.)

9) "Ice Ice Baby" ~ Vanilla Ice: Another perfectly quintessential 90s anthem, "Ice Ice Baby" gave white people everywhere an excuse to rap in public. The song was released on two of Vanilla's albums, 1989's Hooked and 1990's To The Extreme. The song was nothing short of a phenomenon that almost never was. Apparently, "Ice Ice Baby" was originally released as a B-side to "Play That Funky Music" (which is awesome in its own right, with intros like "Yo, Vanilla, kick it one time booooyyyyy!"). A DJ decided to play the B-side first at some point, and craziness ensued. Like MC Hammer, Vanilla Ice "borrowed" his melody sample from David Bowie and Queen's "Under Pressure," but everything managed to work out OK in the end.

What can I say about this song that hasn't already been said a million times? We all know it and we all love it---even those of you who say otherwise. There is nothing more thrilling than hearing that Queen/Vanilla Ice intro come on the radio or your iPod and gearing up to shout "Alright stop, collaborate and listen..." It still brings tingles to my spine. With imaginative lyrics like, "killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom" and "cooking MCs like a pound of bacon," what's not to love?

10) "Black Velvet" ~ Alannah Myles: Even songs written about Elvis becomes number one hits. Yes, that's right. This song is about Elvis and his life and his death. It spent two weeks as number one on the Billboard Hot 100 and still haunts us all in karaoke bars nationwide.

I'm pretty sure this was Alannah Myles's only US hit (maybe her only hit anywhere) and thank heavens. This is one of my least favorite songs ever, and for good reason. Every drunk, middle-aged woman in the United States is convinced she sounds fantastic singing this loudly over the karaoke speakers at any given bar. It's also just a bad song, even though it is about one of the greatest people of all time. I'm sure Elvis rolled in his super velvety grave somewhere hearing her nails-on-a-chalkboard voice belting out this little ditty.

Well, there you have it, folks. My very first installment of "Nostalgic Music." Feel free to drop a comment about other songs you think belong here! Tune in next time (I make no guarantees of actual dates and times) for a look at what's next in line---1991. Sure to be a crowd pleaser. And no more black velvet, if you please.