Just. Be. Normal.

"My Heart" ~Paramore. (Win.)

This entry is for Joe. For two reasons. One, he asked me to post a new entry, which I guess is reason enough--but there's more. Two, he, of all people, will understand why I wrote this entry the best. So, Joe, cheers.

I would like, if I may, to discuss office behavior. I believe this is something that everyone who works in an office (which is most of us here in the (201), sadly) complains about on a daily basis, yet none of us ever grow a set big enough to do something about it. Now, I'm not saying I'm going to change the office world one blog post at a time...I just need a new forum in which to complain, other than to my other office-working comrades.

I, like most, work in a generic office in North Jersey. My office consists of mostly women, which, I think, is problem number one. Women, especially in an office, "working together"-type setting, become awful, deplorable human beings, given the right motivation. The gossip and mean-spirited things that the women in my office say about the other women in my office are horrible at best. Most of the talk, as with anywhere, really, is spawned from jealousy and insecurity; however, in an office setting, things are amplified--like whoa. We're all within the same four walls for almost nine hours a day, five days a week. Word spreads. Everyone is a double agent. Watch. Your. Back. (Or, at least, your inbox.)

And where does all this gossip and chit chat take place? Why, the bathroom, of course! Women are notorious for going to the bathroom together, and, let's face it, it's not to hold hands and tell each other how pretty we are. It's to talk about whomever we're with or around without them listening in. A bathroom, even public, allows for the semi-privacy needed to say and do what you feel you must with a limited amount of intruders. Therefore, it's the perfect watering hole for gossip-mongers and trash-talkers alike.

I have found myself, more often than not, in a stall in the office bathroom, minding my own business (literally and figuratively), only to hear two or more women crash through the door to pretend to wash their hands so that they can trash talk the woman in accounting's awful outfit, the hatred they posses for their boss and his family, the clever ways they're getting around doing any work, the way they're cheating the clocking in/clocking out system, etc. Some of these women aren't smart enough to check to make sure no one else is in the bathroom before they start running their mouths, which, of course, is how word spreads even faster.

Example: I was in a stall, once again (I drink a lot of coffee), when a small group of women came into the bathroom together. Two of the women took the two stalls on either side of me, while the other two waited. They were already wrapped up in conversation and kept it going while they used the bathroom. So, there I sat, in the dead middle of their conversation, which I couldn't help overhearing, even I hadn't wanted to. (But, of course, I wanted to.) The women,who I couldn't identify by voice right away, we're going on and on about their boss and how he was the worst person ever because he had caught them sneaking out of the office without punching out for lunch, and reprimanded them. The things they said are too nasty to type out, even for me. To clarify: These women were essentially stealing time from the company (getting paid for hours they were not working). What they were doing was wrong in any office, whether you are on salary or paid hourly. They got caught and were mad that their boss did his job and reprimanded them. It was then I realized which boss they were talking about--my father, with whom I just so happen to share an office building. This is the point where I decided to make a run for it. I exited the stall, which brought the conversation to a complete halt, washed my hands, and simply said, "You should really check under the stalls before talking about people." I left.

*Note to reader: I did not mention this incident to my father. It would only have ended badly. Nevertheless, those women no longer acknowledge my existence.

Office etiquette lesson number one: Do NOT trash talk people in your office out loud. (At least wait until your lunch break, when you're relatively safe.)

Another bathroom issue that must be discussed: Ladies, listen up. I know we're all women and we all have the same parts, yadda yadda...however, there is no need to come out of a bathroom stall half undressed and finish up at the sink in front of everyone. If you took your pants OFF in the stall, I'm thinking it's just as easy to put them back ON in there as well. If I can do it, you can do it. Too often I see women stumbling out of the stall still pulling up their pants or skirts, buttoning their slacks or blouses, reshifting their breasts, etc. Yes, I know, we all reshift. We just don't all do it for everyone else to see. You were just in a private stall, where I couldn't see your awful granny bra and tummy flub. If you don't show me yours, I won't show you mine. Keep it behind closed doors. Thanks.

Office eittquette lesson number two: Keep your body parts to yourself, even in the bathroom.

Also, what's with brushing your teeth in a public office bathroom? I saw this happen around lunchtime in the office last week. I went to the office bathroom after lunch and found a woman from a different department brushing her teeth at the sink. The public sink...where people wash their dirty hands...and brush their hair...and wash out lunch containers. *shiver* I was completely grossed out. And she had a full arsenal of tooth care products with her to boot. Toothbrush, toothpaste, mouthwash, floss, a face towel, etc. I was surprised she didn't bring her waterpik and Crest White Strips too. But she had all her products out, laying on the not-so-always-clean sink, and she was brushing--full force, complete with spitting and gargleing and so on. Um...eww. I think this is too much. A little inapproprite, no? Maybe it's just me...but I would rather not brush my teeth all day than brush them in the sink at the office.

Office eiitquette lesson number three: Your office, contrary to popular belief, is NOT your second home. Do not act the way you would in the privacy of your own place. Please, spare the rest of us the visual of your daily routines.

So, for now, there you have my office ettiquette beliefs, the bathroom edition. I rejoice in the solace of an empty office restroom. (It's the little things.)

Kudos to Joe for the inspiration to write it. Woop!

"Playing God" ~Paramore

Music Is My Hot, Hot Sex

"Piece Of My Heart" ~the late, great Janis Joplin

As promised, another blog emerges from the depths. *celebrate!*

Since I am dedicated to blogging about the (201) in general, and not just food--although, let's be honest, everyone loves food, especially in this area where we have a plethora of fabulous choices, plus, it's sooo my niche--I will dedicate this blog to music and my pursuit of it.

I recently decided that it has been far too long since I had been able to sing in public, and so I did what any other person who wanted to be in a band would do...nothing. I waited around for someone to say something about something. Consequently, it did me no good.

After learning that nothing got you, well, nothing, a good friend and fellow music junkie suggested I post an ad on Craigslist (North Jersey edition--woop!). I did so, reluctantly, knowing no one would answer it. I was horribly wrong, however, and got tons of responses from people looking for female vocalists. *SHOCK!* I had no idea there were so many people out there who respected female frontpeople.

(*This is my moment to proclaim my serious, deep, obsessive love for Linda Perry, an amazing songwriter, producer, and former kick-ass frontwoman for the ever-fantastic 4 Non Blondes. Ok, 90s nostalgic brain, you're done for now.)

Through all of these responses I weeded...and weeded some more. There are, by the way, some serious creeps out there on Craigslist...good thing it's anonymous. Geez. Be careful, ladies and gents. (I smell a new blog topic!) So, I found quite a few legit, serious bands who respected and desired female vocals--eureka, I say! And since then, I have been setting up auditions and jam sessions all over New Jersey. (I know, I know, Belleville and Parsippany do not count as part of the (201); however, Dirty Jerz is Dirty Jerz, and well all deserve out nods.)

This, so far, has been an insane, fun, liberating experience for me. It has pushed me out of my comfort zone, doing something I haven't done in years (sing in front of real people and not just my kitchen appliances and shower products), and is a seriously huge step in my quest for being happy by myself, for myself. A quest to find and do whatever it is that makes me happy and free (without living on a commune and eating barley and picking oranges...or whatever.) And most bands have been cover bands, which is what I'm looking for, so I get to do my own versions of songs that have inspired me to write, to smile, to cry, and to be. (Wait...I'm having another daydream about working with Linda Perry...)

Anyhoo, the goal here is to find a cool band, sing some cool songs, play in some cool bars, and have fun. I have zero desire to be a rock star, never have. I just want to do what I like and do it in a bar full or strangers, because, really, isn't that what life is all about?

So, hopefully, I will be coming to a bar near you very soon! *fingers crossed*

"Together With The Sundown" ~Stephen Jerzak (big "woo hoo!" to my brother for introducing me to this guy...excellent.)

Welcome Back, Self

"The Garden's Tale" ~Volbeat (I suggest everyone hear this song at least once, and read the lyrics as you listen. You will be forever changed.)

It has been over two months since my last blog, and I think I'm ready to get back in the saddle. Much has changed in the past few months, and, in turn, this has changed a lot of my views on the (201). Not all of them...but a significant amount.

First, I must apologize to readers (if there are any), but mostly to myself, for not blogging. This was supposed to be my outlet, my place of peace and/or chaos. Instead, I made it a burden and neglected the commitment I had made to myself to blog regularly.

In plain words: I had a freak out (aka, break-up...'nuff said) and needed some time alone. I'm human. *gasp*

That being said---welcome back, self. Now back to my regularly scheduled (201)-ing.

***NEW FIND: Bistro 55, Route 17 South, Rochelle Park, NJ.***

Now, Bistro 55 may not be the newest restaurant ever, but it was new to me and I am in full-blown love with this place. From the atmosphere and service to the food and drinks, I was totally satisfied.

Bistro 55 is a free-standing building on Route 17, which I'm sure many of you have driven past at least 100 times, but never thought to try out. I was with you for a long time. I actually went because my mother had decided to have Mother's Day dinner there for herself, my grandmother, and my aunt. EUREKA!

The atmosphere is a low-lit, wood-centered, large room with a classy and modern decor. The place felt perfect for people who consider themselves young---but not that young. This would be people like myself, mid-twenties to mid-thirties...ish. The bar is front and center upon entering, and the room is flanked with groups of tables. It gives off a comfortable, private and, yet, popular vibe.

The service was impeccable. Our server, Diego, knew every detail about every item--both food and drink--on the menu, and was pleasant, helpful, and all smiles. (I give him TONS of credit for putting up with our table of 7 and everyone's constant questions and comments. My family is far from "easy," but I love them all the same.)

Their drink menu about 80% beer--celebrate!--and contains so many beers that I can rarely find anywhere else. For example, they had my favorite beer, Franziskaner, which I've only ever seen in Bottle King and at The Shepherd and the Knucklehead bar in Haledon. And since the server was so helpful, he was able to suggest a beer for my brother, who was having trouble deciding. And he loved it!

The food was as impressive as the atmosphere, service, and beer selection. Problem: I can't remember what we all ordered, since my blogging rituals have been sub-par. Epic fail on my part. I do, however, remember one of the appetizers because I've been dreaming about it ever since, so here goes: it was an entire giant clove of garlic, which had been slowly oven-roasted, served with saga bleu cheese, tomato chutney, and parmasean brioche crisps.

I think I found the answer to life's big questions in the form of slow-roasted garlic cloves and chutney. I shit you not. Check it out for yourself. You will NOT be disappointed.

Their full menu is available online at http://www.southcitygroup.net/ and I highly suggest going at least once. The price range was fair, middle-range, I'd say. This wasn't Ruth's Chris, but it certainly wasn't McDonalds either.

To anyone reading: thank you--much appreciated. This entry may be short and sweet, but I figured since I was just getting back into this, I'd start off simple, with clean lines. Next time, I'll be bold, maybe even fess up to some of my life changes! *bigger gasp!*

Until then, stay classy, Bergen County.

"I Must Be Dreaming," ~The Maine (This whole album brightens every minute of my day that's spent listening to it.)