Do Work

Current song: "How My Heart Behaves" ~Feist---beauty and art. The end.

My last post was about how stressed out we all are in the (201) and how unfair it is to be living here without being financially recognized, etc. About how I have to work two jobs and so many hours to make ends meet, leaving me virtually no time to spend with friends, family, my boyfriend. And I was thinking about it all weekend and got myself depressed. That is, until I realized that instead on focusing on what goes wrong and what makes me feel sad, I need to focus on things I am already doing and could be doing more of for myself to be happy. So, for sanity's sake, I am listing good things. Here we go:

1. Not smoking. Honestly, in all of my 13 years of being a pack-a-day-or-more smoker, I never thought I'd see the day when I could truthfully say, "I used to smoke. I quit." Unbelievable. I call this my latest and greatest achievement. It's officially been 17 days since my last cigarette--which, by the way, was a fluke. I was doing so well till I had one too many margaritas. Grr. Alas, I started quitting all over again. Three cheers for 17 days!

Now, don't get me wrong. It's not easy or fun or great in any way. I feel better--I can breathe at the top of a staircase now--and I have more confidence in myself, but it's not at all a "good" feeling. I miss cigarettes--it's like losing your best friend--and I think about them all the time. But it just makes me realize how crazy-addicted I was...and still am. All I need is one drag and I'll be right back where I started. But I'm committed to getting myself to a healthier state, and this was my first step in the right direction.

2. Eating healthy. I know everyone talks about eating healthy, yadda yadda. I was never one of those people. To be honest, I never really cared about eating healthy, just losing weight. Turns out, it's counterproductive to think that way. (Who woulda thunk?!?) But thanks to an incredible boyfriend and best friend (yes, he's one in the same), I've come to understand healthy eating a little better and the benefits it brings. It's not just about low-fat, low-calorie, low-carb. It's about all-natural, no preservatives, no chemicals--they slow you down and make losing weight and getting healthy impossible. I've been eating a lot more organic and natural things in the past few weeks, and I swear it makes a huge difference. Hooray! (Three more cheers for Bear Naked granola, organic tomatoes, and Amy's Organic products--deeeelish!)

3. Getting active. Ok, so I haven't really accomplished making this a daily habit yet, but I've started, so it counts. I FINALLY resolved my issues and fights with my last gym--Lucille Roberts Customer Service got quite an earful--and signed up for Retro Fitness. Retro fits both my budget and my schedule, since they're inexpensive ($20 a month!) and conveniently located. (Check out their Web site for more info: http://www.retrofitness.net )

I also finally bought myself a pair of real sneakers (not slip-ons or Converse) and started walking the Bergen County bike path when I have some free hours. I'm quite proud of myself for opting to NOT sit like a lump and watch TV every time. Not only is it healthier to get moving, but it's nice to have some alone time with my iPod. I've missed having quality time with my music. It's been too long.

4. Landmark. Maybe some of you know about Landmark Education. Maybe most of you don't. I didn't until Boyfriend become Boyfriend. Landmark Education is a series of programs, which they define is "Innovative programs for living an extraordinary life." I haven't participated in any of them yet, but am about to do so in a little less than two weeks. I promised Boyfriend I would attend in 2010, and after pushing it off for a couple months, I finally broke down and signed up for the Landmark Forum. I've seen the amazing and uplifting difference that these programs have made with Boyfriend, and therefore can't deny that it must do something for anyone who attends. I look forward to getting something out of it and making a difference in my own life, as well as in the life of others. (Reports and such to come...in the meantime, visit their web site and give a read! http://www.landmarkeducation.com/ )

5. Family time. Since I've moved out--five weeks and counting--I've had little time to spend with my family, especially my mom. I find that I miss her lots. I knew that this would be the case, since I love my mom to death and love spending time with her, but needed to be on my own to appreciate it more. So, every Tuesday evening has become laundry/American Idol night with my mom and step-dad...and brother, when he's home from college, occasionally. I have to say, this is something that definitely makes me happy, and I love that it does!

So, these are some BIG steps I'm taking to making my own happiness and loving my life. They may not change everything overnight, but they're certainly awesome steps in the right direction. Now for a less formal, more exciting list of things that make me incredibly happy:

1. The solace of an empty public bathroom--especially at work.

2. Getting woken up by Boyfriend before he leaves so that he can kiss me and say goodbye. <3

3. Finding hilarious names in a sea of spreadsheets at work. Example: Heather Phart (a personal favorite--but, Heather Phart, if you're reading this, you may want to consider a name change).

4. Being able to finally drive with the windows down and the music up--hooray warmer weather!

5. Laughing out loud, alone.

6. Listening to Pandora--how does it KNOW?!?!?!

7. Getting text messages. (Yes, they still make me really happy.)

8. Catching people singing out loud when they have headphones on, especially on the bike path, and especially when they're old and singing Frank Sinatra at the top of their lungs.

9. Marinos cherry Italian ice. Mmm...

10. Studying my world map shower curtain. New finding: Nevada touches California!!! I was horribly unaware.

11. A specific person's Facebook status updates. I won't mention names (it's rude), BUT this guy has the funniest Facebook updates, and he doesn't update every day, so when he does, it's a HUGE treat! Rock on, funny man. Rock. On.

12. The smell of clean laundry in the dryer.

*Drop a comment and add to the list with things that make you happy...because, really, it's the little things.*

Current song: "The Pretender"~Foo Fighters...because, really, who doesn't love the Foo Fighters?