The Thing About Facebook...

Current Song: "Scenes From An Italian Restaurant" ~Billy Joel. 'Nuff said.

We all have a Facebook. Everyone's is different, and everyone is different about how they utilize their page, but we all have one and we know how it works and how it works for/against us.

Initial Disclaimer: I am a huge Facebook fan and am on logged on every day (thank you, boring job!). That said, it does have it's ups and downs. That's what we're (I'm) discussing here.

Facebook has become the best and worst thing to happen to us as a society. I'm sure that can be said about a million other things as well, but for all intents an purposes, I'm using Facebook. Let it go. I'll start with the positives since that's always a nice way to begin a criticism of any kind--point out what's RIGHT before pointing out what's horribly, horribly wrong.

First and foremost, Facebook provides all of us with an endless opportunity to connect and reconnect with the people that have left a mark on our lives, for better or for worse. It's a chance to see where your childhood friends have moved to, who's married, who has children, who has had some great successes in their lives, etc. And, on the other side of things, it allows YOU to share your best moments, your children, your marriage, your successes with the people of your choice. From kids you went to nursery school with to old college roommates, Facebook has provided us all with a way to reconnect with our past and to link it to our present and future.

In some cases, Facebook has helped in searches for people. (I feel an example coming on!) My mom grew up in NYC and moved to the (201) when she was about 12. She has been searching for one of her old NYC friends/classmates for years and, until Facebook, was unsuccessful. Now, through the magic of Facebook and the ability to filter via maiden names and networks (i.e. Northern New Jersey, etc.), my mom found her friend, reconnected with her, and has a good 40 years to catch up on--and is endlessly happy to do so.

So, Facebook certainly has it success stories--thousands, at the very least, I'm sure--and is creating some real positivity and happiness in the world. This is my #1 reason for being in love with Facebook.

And, in addition to said reason, I also love posting pictures of my life, seeing pictures of old friends or friends who live too far away to see in person regularly, watching the kids I used to babysit become miniature adults, keeping up with family members who live hundreds of miles away, commenting on statuses I love, reading the comments that people who love me write, etc. It's certainly motivating when the first thing you read in the morning is a thoughtful, funny, loving, or sweet comment from someone you love posted on your wall. People love you and want the whole world to know it. And that's, well...awesome. And I feel strongly about telling the people who I love that I love them all the time, whether intimately in person or publicly on Facebook. (In some cases, I would hire a skywriter if I could, but you get the point. "Shout it from the rooftops," an so on.)

As for the down sides, and there are many, I'll start with paranoia. I'm convinced that Facebook has made me--if not all of us--a little more paranoid. "What did she mean by that 'lol' she posted on my status? I was serious about wanting to save the rain forest! How rude!" Or, "I can't believe he hasn't commented on what I posted on his wall. It's been a whole day!" Or, "I called Amy last night around 11, and she didn't answer, so I figured she was asleep. But then I saw she updated her status at midnight--is she avoiding my calls? She hates me, doesn't she?" Or, "I think Bob's mad at me...he didn't post a reaction to my comment." Crazy? Yes. True? Absolutely.

Facebook has made me question people's motives, become weary of people's reactions to my life, become weary of other people comments and "like"s. It's made me jealous of the people who are more successful than I am. It's made me jealous of women who write on my boyfriend's wall--I find that I am only jealous on Facebook and not in real life, which is a little scary. It's made me sad about people who look better than I do in their pictures and angry about people who don't comment on the pictures I post. Facebook drums up a whirlwind of emotions, especially when you become heavily (and pointlessly) invested.

And then, of course, there's the aftermath of the whirlwind. When the dust settles and you log off and you check back in to real life, when you realize that some of the assumptions you made or conclusions you came to via Facebook research (also known as stalking) are totally incorrect and way off mark, you get to feel slightly (if not entirely) stupid. Best example which happened just this second: I got a text from my boyfriend. Knowing now that he is awake, I run out the back door of my office to call him since we didn't get to talk last night. He doesn't answer and I get to feeling a little...bothered. "How is it that he just texted me from his phone--so it's near him--but can't answer a phone call?" I say to myself on the long walk back to my desk. "This sucks." I sit down at my work computer, click back into my Facebook homepage, and see his latest status update from 20 minutes ago pop up on my news feed. "Funeral." Crap. He's at a funeral and I got mad that he didn't pick up his phone. "What an ass I am."

*Note: On the flip side of this, if I had bothered to look at his Facebook page BEFORE I made the phone call, I would have seen the update, not called, and not have put myself through this ordeal. Facebook: Friend or Foe. You be the judge.*

So, you see, Facebook certainly has it's down side. Most certainly.

Currently, I am trying to commit to being less dependent on Facebook and what it stands for. It's definitely difficult, and it takes something to not let it get into your head and manipulate your thoughts. But I am trying to log in with a more leveled head. It may take me awhile to get used to doing so, however. And maybe I sound a bit crazy for being this "addicted" to Facebook and the meanings behind it, but sharing certain things--my accomplishments, being in love, great pictures, awesome moments--with the world makes me happy and is still important to me. That I can't detract from.

In some ACTUAL (201) news: I have just been made aware the the Garden State Plaza has opened up a Gucci boutique. O happy day!!! (Even though I can only afford to window shop.) The GSP becomes a little more like Manhattan every month, and this makes me smile..if only for the sheer fact that we don't pay tax on clothing here in the good old NJ! Heaven smiles on Bergen County...

And so the weekend (almost) begins, which will consist of running to my second job after my first (restaurant reviews of my own place of employment coming soon), visiting Grandma, hopefully spending some time relaxing with my boyfriend and finally seeing "Valentine's Day," and more work. One day I'll actually have my apartment set up...

Current song: "Change The World" ~Eric Clapton. Pure genius.